


(A Guide to Surviving) The High School Conspiracy

by Katbelle



Series: Fighting the good fight (with a SHIELD and a SWORD) [2]
Category: Amazing Spider-Man (2012), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Aliens, Conspiracy, Crack, F/M, Gen, Government Agencies, High School, Loki is a troll, Marvel Universe Big Bang, Mind/Mood Altering Substances, Monsters, Physics, SHIELD, sword - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 23:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katbelle/pseuds/Katbelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something going on in Midtown Science High, the high school where one Spider-Man attends. So, obviously, SHIELD's onto it. Uh-oh. It's so out of their league it's not even funny. Luckily, there's a friendly rival organization with all the necessary experience in, well, alien. So everything's in control.</p><p>Or would be. But it's not. With Abigail Brand out on an official diplomatic mission, Andrew Paulletz on holiday and Carol Danvers at her parents', it's up to Loki to save the day.</p><p>Which can only end in a disaster, so it does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(A Guide to Surviving) The High School Conspiracy

**(A Guide to Surviving) The High School Conspiracy**

"Sir, agent Bradley is requesting a debrief with you, asap. She's reporting-- _problems_ at her location. It sounds like something SHIELD might want to investigate."

Fury raises his brows and looks dubiously at the file Hill is holding in an outstretched hand, but takes it nonetheless. He sighs and rubs his forehead tiredly.

"What sort of problems she might have there that could be of interest to us?" He opens the file and skims through the report. "And why exactly did _she_ get this job? Why didn't we send Morse, for example?"

"Agent Bradley has a PhD in psychology," Maria answers as Fury's one remaining eye widens considerably as he continues to read. "And, with all due respect, sir, but haven't you seen _Mean Girls_? That's high school. That's--that's horror."

Fury closes the file with a grim expression on his face and throws it at one of the agents sitting nearby him. O'Grady catches it and grins like a loon. Maria rolls her eyes and wonders, once again, who O'Grady had to sleep with in order to get this job.

"Call a level seven clearance debrief," Fury orders O'Grady, who quickly reaches for the microphone. "We might have a situation."

As O'Grady calls all agents to the conference room, Fury leaves the deck and Maria follows one step behind him. They pass three levels without a word; there must be something on Fury's face, though, a distraught expression or a particular brand of an angry scowl because the techies and lower-level agents all scatter around when they pass and some of them seem traumatized and scared for the future. Most of them are new, Maria notices, and they haven't lived through the attack on the Helicarrier. They don't know yet what 'scared' even means.

"What do you plan on doing?" Maria asks when they enter an elevator, dropping the formalities in the comfort of solitude.

"I don't like the sound of it," Fury admits, "and we definitely need eyes and ears there. But I'm not sure if Alice Bradley alone is enough anymore."

"It might be nothing. It might be kids spilling hallucinogens in the air. Something harmless and normal."

"If you truly thought that to be the case, you wouldn't be bothering me, Maria." Fury smiles crookedly at her. "And we both know it. So please refrain from trying to bullshit me into a false sense of safety and sanity around. You know where you work. You know what we see everyday. Normalcy is a lie." 

They get out of the elevator and carry on walking down another bland, non-descriptive corridor. When Maria first started working at SHIELD - when she was still a newbie, hotheaded and with a mouth that could never be shut - the Helicarrier made her uneasy, terrified her in the way giant steel mazes always did. Then she got to know the ship, noticed how the outline and colours of the steel panels on different levels were different and how none of the corridors looked exactly like any other. Getting to know and love the ship took her a better part of her first year at SHIELD; Maria can't help but be impressed by how easily navigating around the ship came to Loki. Then again, he had help from the person who knows the ship better than anyone, quite possibly even better than Fury himself.

"Ladies, gentlemen," Fury greets the agents as they walk into the conference room. He takes the seat at the head of the glass table with Maria on his right, always on his right. Only the best and brightest made it to the meeting, Woo, Carter, Vaughn, Flumm. Romanoff and Barton should be here as well, but they aren't just SHIELD agents anymore. They are Avengers and alerting them would mean alerting the whole team, and knowing Stark's usual behavior, he'd run off to do something horrible and damaging even before Fury was done describing what the actual problem is. Barton and Romanoff were their own species now, something way beyond level seven security clearance. And so was Coulson, but nobody wanted to say it out loud yet.

"As you might recall, several months ago we've had a bit of a situation in New York." Carter rolls her eyes and Woo tries to cover his laugh with a coughing fit. "A toxin that was turning people into lizards, you might have got the memo. And at the heart of it was a masked vigilante, dubbed Spider-Man by the press. As it is our policy to monitor people with superhuman abilities, ever since that incident, SHIELD's been keeping tabs on this particular guy."

Fury switches on a projector and all heads turn to the screen behind him.

"His real name is Peter Parker and he's a student at Midtown Science High. Agent Bradley has been working undercover at the school, serving as a psychologist. Last night she filed an unusual report which caused some concern to Vice-Director Hill."

Fury looks at Maria and beckons her to continue. She clears her throat and carries on in an authoritative tone that means there will be no mocking of this topic, no stupid jokes and no trying to get out of the debrief early in order to catch the tails of Sitwell's top secret surprise birthday party that started as soon as the director left the deck.

"Agent Bradley reports that, in the past week, an increase in superhuman activity was noted at the school. People with no history of weird accidents or any ties to Stark Industries have started showing signs of class one superhuman abilities."

"Class one superhuman abilities?" Vaughn asks, politely making it known that he doesn't understand the terminology and got lost about five minutes previously.

"Director Fury's memo #1983, on the topic of new unified terminology. Don't you read your mail?" Woo huffs, offended, and Maria waves a hand dismissively. "Never mind. Class one superhuman abilities are the typical Superman power pack: super strength, invulnerability, superhuman speed, stamina."

"The ability to fly?" Woo says as a joke and he and Carter share a laugh. Maria waits a bit for them to stop grinning and nods. Carter's jaw drops a tad.

"Bradley reports that three different students have seen one of the freshers fly in the corridor. Admittedly, one of them is a known school stoner, but the other two are supposed to be honest and trustworthy."

Woo chokes on his own spit and looks at Maria as if she's grown a second head. Maybe even a third arm. Maria smirks. Bingo. He'll never know if she was joking or not.

"And since we already have one superhuman in that school, this is worrisome," Fury adds and turns off the projector. He snaps his fingers and the lights turn themselves back on. "We live in a world where more and more people have super powers, but this ain't any X-Men. This is not a comic book, this is real life, and in real life people get powers either because of a science experiment or because of some state-of-art technology. They don't get them from thin air."

"Also Loki," Coulson says unexpectedly. All heads turn towards him. "He can bestow powers onto someone. Like that one time when--"

"We remember and we ain't gonna talk about this," Fury interrupts. "The point is, SHIELD has to investigate this. We need to find out who's doing it and how are they doing it, and we need to do it fast."

"The best way would be to infiltrate the school," Flumm proposes. "Bradley's good, but she's not enough. We could use someone in a position of power, on the faculty or--"

"Or as a headmaster," Fury finishes and smiles that creepy smile of his that always means danger, and points at Coulson. "And agent Coulson is the man for the job."

Both Coulson's and Flumm's expressions are a curious mixture of disbelief, outrage and disappointment. Flumm must have thought that he'd get the task and he'd finally score some points with the director while Coulson… Well. There was some talk about Carter resigning from her Steve Rogers babysitting duty and Coulson was almost salivating at a mere mention of the job.

"But--but I was--" Coulson looks from Fury to Carter with a miserable pout and finally settles his eyes on Maria. "Is this because of the Loki thing? Is he punishing me for the Loki thing? Is he still pissed about it?"

Fury and Maria exchange a quick look and Maria stifles a laugh.

"Yeah," she says, "yeah, he's still pissed at you for the Loki thing."

***

"Hey."

"Hey." Gwen smiles at him lightly and moves her bag so that he can sit next to her. Opposite them, Tandy Bowen snorts and shakes her head, but refrains from making a comment. Peter is grateful for that. At least in one thing the universe seems to be on his side today. "Tough day?"

"You can't even imagine." He reaches out and steals an apple from Gwen's tray. Tandy groans, picks up her stuff and moves to the table on the left, where she's greeted by Sally Avril and soon they indulge in gossiping and pointing fingers at Gwen. "I had the craziest physics test ever. I swear, old Ms. Dawson is slowly losing it. Then," he takes a bite, "Flash Thompson got my lunch money off me in the most primary school way."

"Really." Gwen fakes sounding impressed and leans her cheek on the back of her hand. "That's fascinating."

"And… how are you?"

Gwen shrugs and goes back to poking her salad and staring at it as if it was holding the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. It appeared that the salad doesn't know that the only right answer was '42', because Gwen sighs and puts down her fork.

"Simon had a nightmare again yesterday," she says quietly, "and mum was so tired after work that I didn't want to wake her. I've spent the whole night with him. But he was doing much better in the morning, I must admit."

"That's--good, I guess." Peter scratches his chin. "Maybe we could, I don't know, take your brothers to the park on Saturday? Aunt May always says I don't go out often enough, plus I could show Howie and Philip how to skateboard?"

"Why did it sound like you were asking me a question?" Peter shrugs and looks down at his hands. "Mum would probably kill you if you tried skateboarding with them, but I think that going to the park is a great idea."

"Glad--"

"And mum wants you to come over for dinner tomorrow," Gwen adds with a small smile. "She says that you don't visit often enough."

"I know." Peter shifts uncomfortably in his chair. He tried keeping distance from Gwen, the way he promised Captain Stacy, but soon it became obvious that staying away was hurting her as much as staying close could. Gwen figured out why he wasn't seeing her or even speaking to her in the first weeks after her dad's death, but knowing still didn't mean understanding. She had a hard time forgiving him for leaving her to deal alone. Peter had a hard time forgiving himself too, and he already had a laundry list of things he couldn't forgive himself for. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." It's so not, but Peter isn't going to argue this one. Next to him, Gwen looks around, bows her head and whispers: "I've heard that Spider-Man caught a cat burglar yesterday."

"At least he tried to," Peter whispers back and the corners of his mouth lift a bit. "He delivered the girl to the police station, but I'm not sure she stayed where they've put her. She never does."

"You can't tame the Black Cat." Peter's eyebrows raise and Gwen laughs. "My dad's friend once said it and it kinda stuck with me. It's stupid."

"Pretty accurate, I'd say."

Another laundry list of Peter's included things he had a hard time forgiving himself for but was glad he did anyway. The circumstances of his first meeting with Black Cat were right at the top of that list. Gwen knew that Peter - or, rather, Spider-Man - knew Felicia Hardy and sometimes delivered her into the hands of justice (which then promptly managed to lose her), but she didn't know how exactly the two have met and Peter wasn't going to enlighten her. It was bad enough that Gwen still had trouble speaking about Curt Connors, establishing the fine line between a teacher and a mentor and the person who killed her father. Peter wasn't going to tell her that Connors was vital in saving the residents of the beautiful New York city from yet another disaster.

"You know, Lieutenant Varley came over yesterday--" Gwen starts, but the loud boom of the speakers all over the school and the cafeteria drowned her voice out.

" _All students_ ," the artificially turned-up voice of deputy headmistress Dawes announces, " _are expected to report to the gym in fifteen minutes. The headmaster is going to make an announcement_."

A wave of groans goes over the cafeteria as the students moan the loss of their lunch break. Gwen puts the salad back into her bag and Peter helps her up. Few meters away, at the cheerleaders' table, a red-haired girl smiles and waves, and it takes Peter few minutes to realize that she's waving at him and that he also knows her. Gwen tosses the used plastic fork into the bin and Peter steals that second to wave back. He's not exactly sure why he's being secretive about waving at someone he used to be friends with and whose aunt's neighbour he's been for years, but he's watched enough movies to know that a girl could be very jealous of their boyfriend's possible association with the cheerleaders. Especially since she wasn't - and never aspired to - be one of them.

"What do you think he's going to say?" Gwen wonders as the cafeteria empties and the flood of students follows into the gym. A single microphone is standing at the centre, and quite a few people - six of them, Peter counts quickly - group around it, talking in low voices and gesturing from time to time. Gwen pulls him into the tribunes and onto the bench and they settle between Asian nerds and Bronies. The last one Peter amazingly deduces from a T-shirt one of the - guys? girls? - students is wearing. 'Brony and awesome'. The world is surely ending.

"I don't know. Maybe they're finally getting a new cafeteria lady? Not that I dislike good Miss Joyce, but her flirtatious winking and green jell-o is pushing it a bit."

"Quiet, quiet, please!" Headmaster Suitress calls on the floor while, next to Peter, Gwen is laughing into her sleeve. It's not the cheerful fake laugh that she uses when her friends are cracking jokes or sharing the Lizard memes, the one she adopted and fully embraced after her father's death. No; this is a real laugh of a real Gwen, not exactly carefree and with some veiled undercurrent of sadness, but one that is accompanied by a smile that reaches Gwen's eyes and makes them flash and nearly sparkle with mirth, one that makes Gwen nose crinkle and lines appear around her eyes.

Peter feels very attached to that smile.

"Students," Suitress starts off formally, "due to pressing family matters--"

"Yeah, right," Gwen leans in and whispers into Peter's ear. "He's been on the police's radar ever since the--the Lizard incident at the school and Jack Varley says he might be prosecuted over being negligent to his students' safety."

"--resigning from my position. As of tomorrow morning, I am no longer a principal of Midtown Science High."

Cheers erupt in the hall and the footballers - led by Flash Thompson - rise from their last row seats and burst into a song. They're completely off tune and don't know half of the words, but Peter still recognizes it as 'God Save the Queen'. He and Gwen share an amused look before having to look to different sides of the room, in hopes of not erupting in maniacal giggles.

"I have called you all here," Suitress continues, apparently hell bent on ignoring his school's famed sportsmen, "to introduce you to the man who will take over my role, starting tomorrow. Let's hear it for Mr. Phillip Coulson."

Mr. Phillip Coulson - Principal Coulson starting tomorrow and man does it sound funny, even in Peter's head - is welcomed by loud booing and demands of having Coach Walker take the vacated position. The only reason anyone would propose that Coach Walker should take the position is because they happily assumed she'd wear a tight and almost see-through suit, or at least the Cameron Diaz's _Bad Teacher_ -type clothes. Half of the school has wanted to see Coach Walker in that, ever since she first started working here, in the middle of Peter's freshman year.

Coulson doesn't seem bothered by the lack of enthusiasm expressed by his new students and Peter decides that it's good, that he might prove to be a good headmaster material. Crazy things tended to happen in those halls and being too emotionally invested would result in a mental breakdown, of the type that the previous psychologist, Miss Sofen, had after Flash and a few of his friends decided that she was the perfect candidate to play the titular role in their Halloween _Carrie_ life-staging. Maybe Coulson will turn out to be a good headmaster, Peter thinks. His opinion is rectified mere minutes later, when Coulson steps towards the microphone, adjusts his tie, clears his throat and delivers a most passionate speech. Passionate's not usually good. Miss Sofen was passionate and look where she ended up.

"I am," Coulson starts, "deeply _honored_ to have been given, entrusted with this-- difficult task of managing the school." If Peter's being honest - and he can be, in his own headspace - Coulson doesn't sound honored or even grateful. He sounds pissed, but also like a man with a mission. Which is also not good. "It's a responsibility I'm not going to take lightly. I intend to improve the security and the quality of facilities here as the recent incidents has shown that what you have here is not sufficient, and because I firmly believe that safety is the top priority."

Coulson's speech is met with silence. Peter looks to Gwen and then looks around, notices other people doing the same, with various stages of a confused expression. Everyone is unsure of how to properly react; Suitress wasn't a bad headmaster, but he wasn't a good one either. He never particularly cared for any improvement at the school and was perfectly happy with how mediocre the things have always been. When the football team has finally won their first ever game last Friday, it was like all Christmases of his stay at Midtown all rolled into one event. Anyway. The point is, Suitress was never making grand speeches about improvement or safety or security. Usually, he wasn't making speeches at all; and when he was, it was to announce the King and Queen of the annual Winter Ball. Always a football player and always a cheerleader. Pretty typical. Peter glances at Gwen, who's frowning and watching Coulson with a puzzled expression. Well, Gwen could win the crown if she aspired to or even simply wanted it. But she didn't; she was perfectly happy with just going to the dance with Peter, dancing a bit and laughing at how desperate the school royalty wannabes could be.

That is, assuming Peter would actually ask her out to the dance and she would say yes.

"Over the next few days, inspections will be carried out around the school," Coulson continues, but no one is listening. They've been holed up in the gym for almost half an hour now, the attention span of a band of teenagers is not big in general and is almost nonexistent when it comes to listening to authorities. "If there are any _irregularities_ , they will be discovered."

Peter swallows thickly. He doesn't like the way Coulson said "irregularities" - like he knew there was something to discover - and he could swear that the new headmaster looked directly at him. Even though it's not even his first day at work and he's never met or even seen Peter Parker in his life.

"Pete?" Gwen touches his arm gently. She looks worried - and Peter doesn't want her to worry for him and he does, at the same time - and glances sideways at Coulson every few seconds. So it's not just Peter who's imagining things. "Is it--alright?"

"Yeah." Because really. No one knows who Spider-Man is. No one except for Gwen and Doctor Connors, and neither of them would tell. Gwen wouldn't; Peter's not so sure about Connors, but he'll take his chances.

"Does that mean we'll get better food at the Winter Ball?" Lizzy Allen asks a row behind Peter and the gym erupts in cheers and loud conversations. Suitress tries to calm the students down and fails; Coulson is not even trying. He joins Doctor Bradley a bit on the side and they just observe the colourful crowd with tightly guarded faces.

***

"We've got nothing," Coulson says over the comm and Maria can see how tired he is. Almost two weeks into the assignment and he looks like he hasn't slept in a year, on top of being run over by a tractor and being chewed on by a Leviathan. "Aside from giant holes in the school budget, I honestly don't know who's been managing this…"

"Focus, Coulson," Fury chastises him with the gentleness of a stampede. "Have you checked everything?"

"Everything we could think of. Water supply. Chemicals in the lab - which is not nearly big enough for a school this size, so I'll have to find funding for a new one… Everything in the cafeteria, starting with protein bars and ending with Miss Joyce Bennet's homemade chicken soup. We found nothing. What we did find is that what passes for meat in the cafeteria doesn't contain nearly enough pure meat to be even called that. It's mostly cardboard. Do we have anyone in the legal department who knows what can qualify as meat and what can't? I believe that we're paying too much for what we--"

"Dear God." Fury turns the volume down and looks over to Maria with a pained expression. "What have we done. Coulson has gone native."

"If you choose to see it that way," Maria replies. "I'd like to think that our friend is just being his usual sweet, ambitious, over-achieving self."

"--sports fund, but at least they've started winning now so we have a reason to keep it. And then there's the Winter Ball which is incredibly expensive, but the kids are so enthusiastic about it that I don't have the heart to cancel it. Plus, we've already paid the DJ. Then again, we do need money for the new physics lab, do you think that we could use some of the Helicarrier repair fund money, sir?"

"What?"

"Yes, you're right, we still haven't finished repairing all the damage from the--the Loki thing, we need that money. But maybe we could find something? What about the additional funding we got off SWORD? Abby Brand would be equally unhappy about where it went if we were to use it to help these kids--"

"Hold up." Maria raises a hand and, even though he can't see it, Coulson immediately stops. "Did you say that the football team started winning?"

"Yes," Coulson says after a while, hesitantly. "But that's good, isn't it?"

"That depends." Maria reaches for Alice Bradley's report. "That depends on whether they just got that good--"

"Unlikely, given how much money is spent on sports in that school, I swear, it's like Suitress stole the money for himself--"

"--or whether they have something extra going on for them."

Fury's brows raise and she imagines Coulson blinking, a bit confused, but putting the pieces together. It's a nice image if completely untrue.

"We didn't find anything because we weren't looking at a specific group, we only thought of the bigger picture. Whatever is affecting them, it's nothing in the general environment. It's something these kids have." Coulson wets his lips. "A drug test. I'll organize a drug test for the whole team, they've moved up to interstate games, the official regulations say that it is within the power of--"

"And here we go again," Fury mutters darkly.

"--and maybe, with the right motivation and the determination of Coach Walker we could win and the school would finally be known for something more than maths quizzes. Which is not say, there's nothing wrong with maths quizzes, I took part in maths quizzes when I was in high school, but it's nice to have a school that offers a wide range of quality activities and--"

"Thank you for the report, Agent Coulson, we'll--talk later." Fury slams the "off" button so hard that the whole device jumps in the air. Maria wants to laugh. Coulson and Fury are always fascinating to observe, because they don't realize that they're constantly playing each other. She knows, for a fact, that dear Phil is now sitting in his office at a goddamned high school, laughing his pants off. Most of his obsessed blabbing was just that, blabbing in order to make Fury regret ever sending him there. It required a lot of research - some even on Maria's part, she's such a good and considerate friend - and some good old lying, but it was so worth it.

"Maria," Fury says helplessly and that, _that_ , is worth everything that will happen to them when Fury finally finds out that he's been on the receiving end of a practical joke, "I think I've created a monster."

"That you did, sir," Maria replies because, while missing on the whole thing, he made a valid point.

***

"Hey, Peter."

Peter looks around to check if there's any other Peter standing behind him, and when he's sure that it can't be anyone else who's being addressed, he shuts his locker door and puts on his most charming smile.

"Hey, Mary Jane."

His most charming smile is also his goofiest smile and Mary Jane giggles into a clenched fist. She adjusts her cheerleader's outfit and reaches to grab his arm, presses close and clings to it and drags Peter away. A few people pause by their lockers to observe this weird occurrence; Mary Jane doesn't pay them any attention, she steers Peter into an empty classroom, seats him on one of the tables and stands in front of him in full glory, arms crossed on the chest, red hair pulled back in a thick ponytail. Peter swallows thickly.

"You don't have to be afraid, Pete, it's not like I'm gonna hurt you," Mary Jane laughs at him and shakes her head fondly. He's suddenly reminded of that one time back in primary school when Mary Jane had invited him to her party and told him the exact same thing. Back then, she had made him wear a pink tutu.

"I'm not afraid," Peter shoots back. Which is totally not true, inside, he's freaking out. Even his spider-sense is tingling - which _is_ weird as nothing Mary Jane has come up with can possibly be that dangerous. Maybe that thing is off, Peter muses. Maybe that fight with the Wrecking Crew from last week did give him a mild concussion after all. "What do you want, Mary Jane?"

"It's MJ now," she corrects and then she flashes him a brilliantly white smile. "And why do you think I want something, can't I just talk with my oldest friend?"

"It's the first time you've said a word to me since we started attending this school and we're here a second year," Peter reminds her sourly. Oldest friend, ha. Maybe he was her oldest acquaintance, courtesy of being Anna Watson's neighbour and all, but he doubts they were still friends. "Actually, if I remember correctly, the last time we ever truly met and spoke as friends was not long after you and Harry decided to run away together and get married."

"God, I remember that! We found that bottle of whiskey in Harry's dad's office. I wanted to go to Vegas. And you had to help your uncle at home and couldn't go with us, you were so angry!"

Peter smiles despite himself. It's much funnier now than it was back then, when he was frustrated at being excluded from all the cool stuff that Mary Jane and Harry did. It's been a long time since he last though about Harry Osborn. He wonders what Harry is up to; through local high school gossip and Gwen, Peter knew that Harry was attending a private school, but wasn't happy with it. Harry's father was supposedly considering sending his son to the school where brilliant Miss Stacy attended. It would be interesting to see Harry again, in high school conditions. Who knows, maybe they'd become best friends again. Unlikely, considering the fact that Peter was a nerd and Harry was handsome, rich, funny and had great hair. But who knows. Weirder things have happened.

"What do you want, MJ?" Peter asks again and Mary Jane stops smiling, clearly seeing that whatever sentimental friendship crap she's trying to sell, he's not buying it. Ha. Metaphors, always great friends.

"Liz Allen has chemistry with you," Mary Jane says and Peter nods because that's true, Liz Allen does sit behind him and always unsuccessfully tries to copy his notes, "and she says you're brilliant." Another nod, because _duh_. "And I need a favor."

"What kind of a favor?"

Mary Jane looks to the classroom door; the noise outside indicates that the break is coming to an end. MJ moves quickly to the door and locks it, then puts up a chair against it for good measure. That gives Peter a slight indication as to what kind of a favor she might want. Drugs. Mary Jane Watson is selling drugs and now needs a poor high school genius to help her make more. Someone's been watching too much _Breaking Bad_.

"Could you make more of this?"

Mary Jane reaches into her bag and takes out an aluminum can. Peter takes it and shakes it, hears that the content is clearly in a liquid form. That settles him for about five seconds before he realizes she might want him to make alcohol.

"What is it?"

His expression must convey true terror because MJ grins and pats him on the head, like a cute but stupid dog.

"It's an energy drink, silly. Nothing scary. Or illegal."

"Then why did you lock us in an empty classroom?"

Outside, a bell rings and someone tries to open the door. MJ frowns, but otherwise doesn't move. Peter wonders how long it will take for the teacher to come, realize why the students aren't coming in and get the janitor.

"It's not in distribution. Yet," MJ explains. "I got it, let's say, directly from the source."

"So it is illegal." Peter swirls the can. Venom. A strange name for an energy drink. "Or at least it was obtained illegally."

"Not illegally if I got it from the manufacturer." Yeah, right. Peter raises his brows and MJ backpedals. "I mean, it's not a drug or anything, they're still just thinking about whether to mass produce it or not."

"And why wouldn't they mass produce it?" Whoever 'they' are.

"Because it's truly working?" MJ shrugs. "I don't know, I've never been good at economics."

"What do you mean, it's truly working?"

"I mean it makes you better. Faster. Stronger. More energetic, more effective. It's awesome, Peter." Peter must appear not to be convinced, because MJ takes the can away from him, opens it and then thrusts it back into his hands. "There, drink it. You'll see."

Peter lifts the can to his lips and hesitates. MJ lets out an impatient puff and pushes his hand up, forcing him to drink. Peter chokes and spits most of the drink, but some he does swallow. Nothing happens. He licks the rest of the stuff off his upper lip. Still nothing. He waits. And then--wow. Ever since the spider incident, Peter has felt different. He was stronger, he was more agile, he was faster and his senses were better. But this, this was a whole new level of amazing. Somehow, this made him feel invulnerable. Indestructible, powerful. He felt like he could do absolutely anything and everything he set out to do.

"Wow," is all he manages to say. MJ grins.

"Told you." She takes another can out of her bag and passes it to Peter. "Could you make more of it?"

"All by myself?"

"No, silly," MJ laughs and reaches out to ruffle Peter's hair. "We have all the ingredients, including the super awesome magical essence that gives you the kick, we just don't know the right proportions and how to--"

"Make it all work together?" Peter supplies. MJ nods.

"It's super important, Pete. And we really need it."

"I'll see what I can do." Peter taps his chin. He's not sure about this at all. Something stinks here and it's not the classroom or even the drink - which is awful, by the way, black and sort of sleaky and generally disgusting-looking. He would need to use a chemistry lab to analyze the composition of the drink and that means either sneaking into the school's lab or asking Gwen for help. Asking Gwen would be good, actually. It would get her excited and it would give Peter something to talk about when he runs out of safe topics and that awkward silence creeps in. "But it might take some time, I'd need to use the school's chem lab and I need to get the permission--"

"Just use it when no one's looking," MJ says as if that was the simplest solution ever. Like she thinks that using his own formula during a lesson is a valid choice, like she thinks it's easy to pull off. Oh, MJ, you used to be so clever. "There's the Winter Ball at the end of next week, just sneak out of the auditorium and come to the lab."

That's not something Peter has thought of. Damn.

"But it's going to be closed," he tries, hoping that MJ won't suggest breaking and entering. Peter's prepared to do a lot of things in the name of greater good and science, but getting on Coulson's radar is not one of them. He's seen what happened to those guys who punched a freshman, plus everyone knows by now how strict Coulson is when it comes to obeying the law and school rules. He organized a drugs test for the football team when they moved to the state championship. Who even does it these days? Over-achievers, that's who.

"That's not going to be a problem," MJ winks. "I'm good friends with the janitor."

Peter wonders what that friendship entails. MJ raises her brows expectantly, so Peter swallows, forces on a smile and nods. MJ beams.

"That's great!" She steps closer to Peter, leans in and kisses him on the cheek. About three years ago, that would make him have a happiness-induced tachycardia. "You're such a great friend, Peter."

MJ takes her bag, swings it over her shoulder and goes to unbolt the door. She opens it with a one swift move and barks something at the first-years huddled outside. The kids peek inside and Peter waves at them from where he's sitting. He sighs, puts the unopened can into his own backpack and slides off the desk. He has a feeling that's going to be a long, long week.

***

"I rounded up the football team myself," Coulson sounds resigned and that is enough to tip Maria's attention. "First thing after a training, Coach Walker wasn't happy with me. The medical team tested them for every drug there is. We found nothing."

"Did you run the test against the SHIELD database?" Fury asks.

"Yes," Coulson sighs. "We found no matches inside the SHIELD database."

"Damnit," Fury mutters and starts rubbing his forehead. Maria looks first at him, then at Coulson, who looks too unhappy. That's not his usual 'I failed' face. To start with, Coulson doesn't have an 'I failed' face. He just doesn't accept failure, he always goes on, trying to find a way to make everything work. This is his resigned face, which he only uses when he's about to do something that Fury won't like and something that Fury won't appreciate. He had the same face right before the Lo--

"And outside the SHIELD database?"

Fury looks at her dubiously and Coulson looks a bit relieved. Oh, yeah, she guessed it. Damn. She honestly hoped she was going to be wrong.

"A chemical of an unknown source was found in their systems," Coulson says slowly. "A match hasn't been found anywhere in the SHIELD database or anywhere in this world. So it stands to think that it is _not_ , in fact, from this world."

"Oh hell no." Fury leans on the table and looms over Coulson threateningly. Or, at least, he tries to. Those two have a history and go way back, Coulson has already gained immunity to Fury's threatening looks. "You are not gonna call your friends."

"Sir, if I may," Maria butts in. "SHIELD does not specialize in extraterrestrial threats. The first time we encountered something from outside this world, it was Thor. _Thor_ ," she stresses. "The other time? That was them. We're not qualified to do that."

"Hill, I'm gonna venture into _no one on this planet_ is qualified to do that."

"But at least they have the experience we lack," Maria reminds. "The Kree, for starters? You've read all their reports, sir. They are exactly what we need."

"Fine, fine." Fury glares at Coulson. "Go and call them. Get me Carol Danvers on it."

Coulson stands up and not exactly hurries out of the room. Fury rubs his forehead.

"He's gonna get the other guy, isn't he?" He asks with his head bowed.

"Yep," Maria replies.

***

SWORD's tiny underground headquarters seems empty for the first time since Loki started working there. They don't have a lot of space, so having six people in makes it look crowded, but also strangely homey. But now - with Carol off at her parents', Paulletz on holiday and Abby on official business in Attilan - it's so quiet. It's just him and Vicky now, because while Deems is nice and always helpful, he doesn't really count. He never talks anyway.

"I'm _bored_ ," Vicky grumbles and spins around in her chair to make the point. "Where are all the alien invasions when you need one?"

"Don't talk about alien invasions," Loki reminds her the moodily. "They're too much paperwork."

She does have a point, though. Loki didn't join SWORD out of the goodness of his heart; he joined SWORD because he was lonely and pissed and bored. And while he's not lonely anymore - it's hard to be, with Abby and Carol and Vicky, and with Thor not that far away - and he's not pissed - at least most of the time - he's still bored as Hel.

"Loki?" Deems emerges from behind the tiny kitchenette wall that separates the coffee machine from the rest of the base. "Call. For you."

Loki and Vicky exchange intrigued looks and stand up almost at the same time. Vicky grins at Deems, then promptly loses the fake expression once they've passed him by. They make their way to Abby's office and when they enter, sure it's there, a videoconference call displayed on Abby's giant office wall.

"Phil Coulson," Loki greets the man and crosses his arms over his chest. He's fully aware of the shit time Coulson's had over in his own super secret organization due to their little scheme from awhile back, but it doesn't mean he forgives him for ditching him during their bi-weekly game of Cards Against Humanity over at the Future Villains of America chatroom.

"Loki," Coulson says, rarely one for niceties, "we have a situation. One that may require SWORD's involvement."

"What did Thor do?"

The corners of Coulson's mouth twitch when he forces himself not to smile.

"Not your brother, this time." Coulson clicks something on his side of the call and suddenly Loki and Vicky are graced with the view of--something. Molecular structure is the term Vicky would use, Loki thinks. "This is a substance we've found in the systems of several students at my school. It matches nothing that's commonly found on Earth. It also matches nothing that's uncommonly found on Earth."

"Alien, then," Vicky states the obvious. Coulson nods.

"And what do you expect _us_ to do?"

"We could use SWORD's expertise. We need you to come in, find out what this is, where it came from, detain the source and hand him-slash-her to us."

"We?" Loki asks.

"Director Fury agreed that SWORD's aid is necessary to close this case."

"We feel deeply honored," Loki snarks. Vicky coughs in an attempt to hide her amusement. "I hope you're prepared to work with Vicky and myself as the rest of our merry team is currently unreachable."

"I'm certainly prepared to work with you. But when Fury asks why I haven't brought Danvers into the school, you're the one doing the explaining."

"Fine by me." And then it clicks. "What school?"

***

"What is it that I keep hearing about you being locked up in an empty classroom with Miss Midtown High?"

"Hi, Gwen." Peter makes place next to him so that Gwen has a place to sit down. "And it's nothing. Just some friendly request."

"I don't believe you." Gwen drops gracelessly down onto the bench and puts her elbow on the table. "So, spill. What did the plastic Mary want with you?"

"She's not a plastic," Peter replies. "She wants to be a journalist."

"Maybe she _wanted_ to be a journalist because right now she wants to be a model." Gwen steals some fries off Peter's plate. "I have P.E. with her, I'd know."

Peter glances around, but neither Mary Jane nor anyone from her self-appreciation group is around. He reaches into his backpack and takes out a small vial filled with dark liquid. He hands it to a surprised Gwen.

"That's what she wanted," he explains without actually explaining anything. "It's an energy drink that she wanted me to study to find out if the formula can be replicated."

"Okay, why?"

"It-- _works_ , Gwen." At Gwen's raised eyebrows, Peter elaborates. "I think the football team drinks it and that's why they've suddenly become so good."

"But Coulson did a drug test and it showed nothing."

"I don't think it contains any drugs. It's just a really good formula."

"And Mary wanted you to study it." Gwen swirls the vial between her fingers. "So what did you learn?"

"Nothing yet," Peter admits. "I only got it yesterday and I'd have to use school's lab to study it. MJ doesn't want anyone to know that we're looking at this; I assume the company she'd got the drink from doesn't know that she has it. So we have to be quiet. The only opportunity to use the lab without anyone knowing is to do it during the Winter Ball."

"Or I could do it." Gwen slips the vial into the front pocket of her jacket. "I could test it in Oscorp's lab. You'd have the results long before the Ball comes and we could think of whether we should report them or not. Just because the tests didn't show anything doesn't mean it's nothing illegal."

"You're the absolute best," Peter smiles. Gwen taps her fingers on the table.

"Speaking of the Ball, don't you have anything to say to me?"

She's teasing. Peter decides to take up the game.

"I might have to go with MJ, what's with all the plans of sneaking out and stuff."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And who knows what will happen, I had a crush on her in fifth grade."

"I also had a crush in fifth grade," Gwen admits. "On Albert Einstein. I thought his hair was awesome and I got my dad to put a giant poster of him on my wall. Then, a year later, I discovered Neil deGrasse Tyson and Albert and I had to end this thing between us. It was doomed anyway."

"You've never had a crush on someone real?"

Gwen snorts.

"They're both real, Pete. It's not like I fancied a character from a TV show, like my mum still does every now and then."

"But they're equally unavailable." Gwen shrugs. "And now I don't know if I should feel envious or not."

"I guess we'll see at the Ball."

The bell rings and students leave their respective cafeteria tables with groans and moans. Gwen checks her timetable even though she knows it by heart and - satisfied that she remembered the room number of the history class - she kisses Peter on the cheek and hurries out too. Peter calmly finishes his fries, confident that old Ms. Dawson won't mind him being late. He is one of the last people to leave the cafeteria; he empties his tray by the bin, opens the cafeteria door, turns left and immediately bumps into someone running in the opposite direction.

"Crap!" he hears from the floor. "Help me up, please?"

"Sure," he stammers and extends his hand. The person grabs it and Peter hauls them off the floor. "Thanks."

"No problem."

A girl with wavy dark hair brushes her jacket off the dust and bends down to pick up a sheet of paper that she's dropped. She looks at it, then at the cafeteria door, then at Peter, with such a miserable expression that Peter immediately understands that she's lost. Which means, most likely, that she's also new.

"Peter Parker," he introduces himself. "Do you need any help?"

"That would be so sweet of you, thanks." The girl blushes slightly and squeezes the hand that Peter offered. "I'm Nancy. And new, but that one's pretty obvious by now." She looks at the paper she's clutching again. "Could you tell me where the HL physics class is?"

"You're doing HL physics?" The girl nods. "That's novel."

"Why? The name of the school is Midtown _Science_ High, isn't everyone doing HL physics?"

Peter laughs and starts walking. Nancy frowns, but hurries after him. Oh, it's so clear that she's new. She's sweet and naïve and doesn't even know what's in store for her. And it's nothing good. It's one thing to be like Peter - a guy who likes physics and maths and chemistry, who's good at it and who doesn't care about what guys like Flash think of him. It's entirely a different thing to be a new girl who likes physics and possibly maths and chemistry.

"No, there are only a few of us in that class," Peter explains. "And so far only one other girl. I don't know, that may be Ms. Dawes' fault. She's the oldest teacher at the school and she's so awfully boring. She makes people fall asleep." Nancy giggles. "No, really. Even I sometimes fall asleep. Usually, I dream of fighting dragons. They always look like her."

Peter stops in front of Ms. Dawes' class and opens the door for Nancy. She steps in first and then promptly stops. Peter sighs internally and shakes his head; being new is one thing, but being undecided where to sit when half of the chairs are empty is a completely different one.

"If you want, you can sit next to--" he starts saying, then stops when he meets the cold gaze of the teacher. Male teacher who's definitely not Ms. Dawes.

"Nice of you to finally show up," the guy says in a silky voice that speaks of phantom snakes and snow and some things that Peter doesn't want to think about because they're just fucking scary. "Go. Sit. Whatever."

They do. Peter sits at his usual desk, Nancy on his right. When the guy looks down at the attendance slip, she leans in and whispers. "You didn't tell me that old Ms. Dawes was so--- _handsome_. And so, well, _male_."

Well, duh. The guy's greenish eyes sweep the classroom and he notes full attendance of ten people. He turns to the blackboard and Peter gets a chance to get a closer look. The guy is tall, that's a first thing he notices. Like, really tall. Taller than most people in the school. He's lean and has raven-black hair pulled in a ponytail. He wears a black vest and a stunningly white shirt and a green scarf and, wait, are those glasses on the desk? Ray Ban's, definitely. Oh, well. Peter rests his head on the cool surface of his desk. How would Gwen phrase it…? Hipster. Yes. The guy is a hipster.

"Fine. As you might not have been notified, your usual teacher took a temporary leave of absence due to an illness," the guy says after he's written his name on the blackboard. Gunnar Golmen, it sounds cold and harsh and Peter thinks it suits him perfectly. There are worse things to happen than a hipster substitute teacher, right? And he can't _possibly_ be worse than Ms. Dawes. No one is worse than Marion Dawes. No one ever. Impossible. Nope. "I do not intend to intervene in your regular tutor's teaching plan, so I will offer you some hopefully interesting topics." Interesting topics, that's always a recipe for a disaster. That usually means the teacher knows shit and will show them a National Geographic DVD. "Let's start with the basic theory behind the Einstein-Rosen bridge, shall we?"

Peter's head shoots up so fast that he sprains his neck. Nancy offers him an amused smile and reaches for her notebook. She doesn't even manage to open it and write the topic down when Peter's hand appears in the air.

"Yes, you." Golmen points at Peter. "What?"

Peter grins. 

"I have a question."

***

"I've just had the most amazing physics lesson in the history of physics lessons."

Gwen opens her locker door and puts the history books in, takes out the HL maths ones and shuts the door close. She leans against it, with her hands wrapped around the books.

"And how is that? I've thought you disliked Marion Dawes for her recently developed inability to tell the difference between a black hole and a white dwarf."

"That's exactly my point, she's _gone_." Gwen makes a half-interested noise deep in her throat that Peter takes as a permission to continue wildly fangirling. "She got sick and we have a sub. He's _awesome_. Imagine an ultimate hipster from a fashion blog who has the mind of a Harvard level physics professor."

"Okay."

She doesn't sound convinced.

"No, you don't get it! He's awesome. He's so awesome that I'm not making jokes about him, even though I could make jokes about him."

"No, I get it. You have a crush. That's so sweet."

She pinches him on the cheek and laughs when he rubs the tender and reddened skin there. And then he sees them. Nancy and Golmen, walking down the corridor, deep in a conversation. Nancy proved to be knowledgeable about astrophysics and was an interesting partner. At the end of the lesson Peter even got both of them interested in an old Everett's multiverse theory project that he made for Ms. Dawes and that she never wanted to see. Golmen sounded intrigued by it and Nancy wanted to help Peter out with making it even better and who knows, at this rate physics might just become his favourite subject, and he might also win this year's science fair with his project.

"Mr. G.! Nancy!" Peter waves at them. Nancy notices him and waves back; she tugs Golmen's sleeve and they both make their way towards the locker outside which Peter and Gwen are standing. "Gwen, these are Mr. Golmen, whom I told you about, and Nancy. This is my--Gwen."

"Hi!" Nancy smiles and sets out to hug Gwen. Mr. Golmen just nods his head. Gwen's jaw doesn't drop, but it's close. Her big and usually expressive eyes get even bigger and tell tales of how surprised she is. Peter is ready to tell Golmen how stunningly smart and talented Gwen is, when the magical nerd moment is broken by Mary Jane and Liz Allen, who stop a few meters away from them, staring.

"MJ?" Peter asks behind Nancy's shoulder. MJ blinks and stops staring; Liz Allen, however, still looks at Golmen creepily, as if he were a most delicious sandwich and she was very hungry. Peter usually doesn't go with food metaphors, but, well. Her look is that predatory.

"Can we talk somewhere more--private?"

Peter glances at Gwen, who gives him a small nod. She stays behind with Nancy and Golmen while MJ leads Peter to the girls' bathroom like one might lead a prisoner for an execution. She pushes him in, orders other girls to leave and corners him near a sink. What she actually does is nowhere near as scary as Peter's narrative makes it sound, but the outcome is the same.

"How's it going?"

"Ugh, great?" It's not going great. Gwen took her sample to the Oscorp lab and has run all the tests she could think of and they gave her no answers whatsoever. On top of that, when she was done, some employee or other came up to her, told her that she's not allowed to do that and took the sample away. Which, hello, suspicious as hell.

"I know how to get into the lab during the Ball. The only problem is, how will we distract your… girlfriend?"

"Oh, she's easily distracted," Peter assures her. By which he means that Gwen won't have to be distracted at all; she'll let him slip away from the auditorium because right now she wants answers as much as he does. And someone taking their sample away, coupled with the fact that MJ and her friends are so desperate to get it? That's a pretty and fascinating mystery right there that can only be solved by seeing what the drink is made of. "It won't be a problem."

"That's great." MJ lets him out of the bathroom. "By the way. Who's the guy?"

"Mr. Golmen, our substitute physics teacher."

"He's cute," MJ decides. "I think Liz likes him. Beware, she might want to join your class."

Peter is ready to retort that Liz wouldn't make it to their class even if she desperately wanted to, but refrains. It might piss MJ off and he has a feeling that pissing MJ off is the last thing he needs to do now. They make their way back to Gwen's locker, where Gwen is still accompanied by Nancy and Mr. Golmen, and where Liz Allen looms like a harpy right behind them. MJ smiles at Peter and sends a nod Gwen's way, grabs Liz's arm and physically drags her away. Mr. Golmen watches them leave.

"Mr. Golmen here was just saying the most fascinating things about the multiverse theory," Gwen explains when Peter finally joins them. Peter only nods at that, to which she frowns. "Is everything fine?"

"Yeah, we just," he glances quickly at Golmen and Nancy, wondering how much he can say in front of them and deciding that not much, in fact. "We were talking about the Ball."

"I was meaning to ask," Nancy cuts in, "what is the ball exactly?"

"The Winter Ball. It's a school tradition. It's a high school party with a theme that the organizers' committee chooses every year. It's the Swinging Sixties this time." Gwen smiles sweetly, which Peter immediately recognizes as one of her charming fake smiles that she loves to feed to the annoying girls in her history class. "You are coming, of course?"

"I'd love to, I've never been to a ball like that."

"Mr. Golmen?" Gwen turns to him. "Considering how many girls are currently standing in this corridor and eating you up with their eyes, I'd say it would be a terrible shame if you didn't come as well."

"As I was told by the principal," Golmen says, "every faculty member is obliged to attend." He grins and while it makes some girls passing them by blush and swoon, it makes Peter's blood run cold and his spidey-sense to tingle in an unexplainable manner. "Maybe you'll even save one dance for me, Miss Stacy?"

"It would be my pleasure."

Golmen still smiles creepily when he bids his goodbye. Left without the teacher, Nancy looks between Gwen and Peter and, obviously feeling like a third wheel - a sentiment that Peter knows intimately - she flashes them a small smile and hurries in the opposite direction. Gwen lets out a tired breath.

"That was interesting."

"Why?"

She puts the books she's been holding all the time into her bag and hands it to Peter. He takes it without making a fuss - that's what a good boyfriend is supposed to do, carry his girl's bags, or at least that's what Aunt May always told him - and they make their way towards the language lab.

"Firstly, I _do_ get what you meant about your sub. He's absolutely brilliant and charming and insanely handsome. But there's something off about him, I just can't pinpoint what. Secondly… Doesn't she seem fake to you?"

"Nancy?" Gwen nods. "No! She's new. She told me that she's from a small town, she's never been to a city this big."

"Right. Peter, I'm a cop's daughter," Gwen starts, "and I've learnt a thing or two about reading people over the years. And there's something _weird_ about this girl. Like she isn't real. Watching her behave is like watching any teen movie. She's the poor and confused heroine who can't find her way in high school. Plus," she adds, "I _swear_ I've seen her somewhere before."

"Or maybe you've just seen too many teen movies."

"Maybe." Gwen lets Peter put his arm around her and she nuzzles her head into his shoulder, just a bit. "Did I tell you that Howard's favourite TV show is _Gossip Girl_?"

"No."

"Yeah. Seems that girlish stuff is haunting me even though I've been trying my best to exorcize it from my life."

***

JARVIS lets him in because Loki can be charming when he wants to be and because being friends with Phil Coulson had its perks in the form of intelligence on how to override the systems when needed.

Tony Stark leaps from his giant puffy armchair when he notices Loki emerging from the elevator.

"Alarm!" He says. "Villain in the Tower. JARVIS, you're fired."

Loki rolls his eyes.

"I'd rather be a villain than an overgrown soup can." Clint Barton snorts from his place on Stark's giant couch while Natasha Romanoff gives him thumbs up. Stark looks to them with a hurt expression, but even he can't help the slight twitch of his mouth. Loki will have to remember to thank Carol for finding that one graphic on the internet when she finally comes back. "Not to mention, you still owe me that drink."

"The bar's over there." Stark points the counter stashed with expensive-looking bottles. "Knock yourself out."

"I'd rather wait for the day when you have to make that drink for me, thank you very much."

"Then you're in for a long wait, buddy."

Stark does go and fix a drink for himself, then he goes back to his armchair. Loki does a quick headcount of people currently perching on any kind of furniture and comes up with two Avengers missing. One of which he is most eager to see, for absolutely professional reasons.

"Did you come here just to lower the level of awesome with your presence or do you have a legit, non-troll reason?"

"I came to see my brother," Loki admits and watches with glee how Stark chokes on his drink. "Where is he?"

"Other side of this floor," Natasha points the direction. "We decided to take a day off from educating him and Steve in modern popculture, so Tony gave them the Wii that he hates and introduced them to Mario Cart. I hope they get addicted and leave us alone."

"Brilliant."

"Loki!" Thor booms enthusiastically and Loki sighs. "I've thought that I have heard your voice, brother."

Thor advances on him with his arms wide open, so Loki stops him with a raised hand.

"No hugging," he reminds Thor, who suddenly adopts the expression of a kicked Labrador puppy. "You have no idea how difficult it is to iron this vest."

"Hipster," Stark coughs into his drink. Loki's eyes narrow and he makes the smallest movement with his hand that only Thor catches. A minute later Stark yelps and drops his glass, which shatters on the floor and reveals a handful of fire ants hurrying away. Thor laughs at that and Loki allows himself to smile smugly at his brother.

"As I meant to say," Loki begins, "it pains me greatly to voice this, but I have unexpectedly found myself in need of your assistance."

"Say that again," Barton dares, emerging from the depths of the couch with a self-satisfied grin.

"SWORD needs your help, okay. There. I said it."

"This day has officially become awesome."

"There is a situation that we're investigating with SHIELD," Loki explains. "You haven't been informed of that, probably because you're a bunch of misfits with communication problems. But, since half of our staff is currently away and I can't really ask Deems to abandon his post, I need you to come in."

"Does Fury know about this?" Natasha asks.

"No, but Coulson says that he'll take this one on himself. We're sharing the collective blame."

"That's new," Tony deadpans.

"Fancy some snakes here too, Stark?"

"What do you need precisely?" Natasha shoots Stark a deadly look.

"I need to borrow two of you for tomorrow's night," Loki answers. "Nothing extreme, I'm taking you to a high school party." Barton looks disgusted, Stark giddy, Thor and Rogers - who has finally come out of the other room, lured out by the loud voices - look like they don't really get it, but that's nothing new. Natasha looks intrigued. "And no, you can't go, Stark. Everyone knows who you are, secrets and you just don't fit in the same sentence. Rogers, you too are out, people has seen you without a mask. Barton," Loki looks at him, Barton looks at Loki and in that instant they both know that they agree that limiting their contacts is the best course of action, "just _no_."

"That leaves you Thor, Natasha and me," Banner says, calmly putting down his reading glasses. Loki shivers. It's not that he doesn't like Banner; it's that he prefers to forget that he exists altogether and ignore him whenever they're in the same room. His ribs still ache at the mere thought of the Hulk.

"It's high school, Bruce, the most irritating place in the world," Stark manages to show that he does indeed have a brain. "You're the last person that should revisit it."

"So, Natasha and Thor?" Banner asks. Loki shrugs.

"It would seem so."

He should feel guilty about how Thor's whole face lightens up when he thinks about the prospect of spending an evening with his brother, how excited he is about it.

"You're not afraid that someone might recognize Steve," Stark whispers into his ear when he passes Loki on his way to the bar. "Steve in civilian clothing is as recognizable as your brother in civilian clothing. You just want to see him act like an idiot in a toxic environment."

"I need to find my entertainment somewhere, Stark," Loki replies, which is as good as an admission.

***

Thor is… unsure of what is happening. First, back at Stark's place, there was a lot of fuss when Natasha started going through Stark's closet like a wild storm, much to the amusement of Barton. There was a talk of outfits and Swinging Sixties - although what and why was swinging wasn't clear - and Thor was certain that his brother was cursed at a lot. Then there was changing and dressing up, and dressing down, and up again, before Natasha has finally decided that they were ready. Ready for what, that wasn't stated. But from the moment they've entered the halls of Midtown Science High, Thor has been itching to reach for Mjolnir. This place just feels like a potential battlefield and Thor feels vulnerable without his hammer. Needless to say, without it, he won't be able to protect his brother or his Midgardian friends.

"Oh, and you must be Mr. and Mrs. Rushman. I was so relieved when Nancy volunteered you for chaperoning the dance--and, of course, happy that you agreed to do it, that way we didn't have to use that security firm from Chinatown." Coulson wraps both of his hand around Thor's one and he shakes them enthusiastically. "It is always good to--Ah, wait. Gunnar! There you are!"

Coulson magicks Loki from somewhere in the crowd; he grabs Loki's arm and pulls him towards Thor and Natasha. Only Loki doesn't look like Loki at all. Gone is the armor - but that's usually gone this days, and Thor finds himself missing it, even those damned horns - and the proud face of a prince. He is wearing a Midgardian type of clothing that Man of Iron prefers, and a strange hat that doesn't fit him well. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Rushman?" Loki raises his brows as he asks. He looks mildly amused when Coulson and Natasha smirk at each other, sharing a private, inside joke. "Nancy's parents, I assume?"

"Legal guardians," Natasha bites back, clearly offended. "Thor--lief, he's, um, Nancy's brother."

"Oh, _really_?"

"Lovely fedora, Mr. Golmen!" someone near them shouts and cuts Natasha's reply short; Loki grins at them, waves a hand. Such a gesture is unlike his brother, but, then again, Thor has always known that Loki was a gifted actor.

"Nice to meet you, then, Mr. and Mrs. Rushman," Loki too takes and shakes Thor's hand. "I have to say, Nancy is one of the best students I have. Such a passionate and lovely girl."

Thor doesn't know who this Nancy person is. He vaguely remembers that time when Stark told them the story of his involvement with SHIELD. He told them that Natasha was spying him under the pretense of being someone else. He called her Natalie Rushman, Thor thinks. Maybe that's what Coulson is referencing now. How does Loki know of it, however… Ah. Well. The answer is rather obvious. He knows it the same way Loki always seems to know everything.

"Thor," Natasha murmurs as she stomps on his foot to get his attention. "Say something."

"… Yes," Thor mutters and then lets her take charge. Soon this part of the charade - because that's what it is, a charade, a trick, and Loki chose Thor on purpose, to watch him squirm and be uncomfortable with this lie, to laugh at him and not with him - is over, Coulson and Loki drift away, and Thor and Natasha are left alone by a table full of drinks and what Clint Barton calls 'cookies'.

"I am unsure of what we are doing here, Natasha."

"We're undercover," she says. "Didn't Loki--" She stops herself and shakes her head. "Of course he didn't fill you in, where would be the fun in that." She reaches back and takes one cookie. She takes a bite, chews, swallows. Only then she continues. "We're here to keep an eye on anything suspicious. We're also here to keep an eye on one of the boys. Loki says that he'll try to sneak out of the room and that he's potentially involved in this whole alien substance thing that SHIELD found out about."

Thor nods, though he doesn't know what alien substance Natasha is referring to or what an alien substance is, precisely. But he does take on overlooking the boy she points out in the crowd. That's the least he can do; it's also a part of why Loki needed him here in the first place and Thor will be damned if he fails his brother.

"He sure knows how to have fun."

Coulson appears beside them with a plastic cup in his hand and without that act he was engaging in when he first greeted them in this hall. Thor frowns and Coulson points at a stage on the opposite side of the room, where Loki is jumping up with several young people. Some girls - who remind Thor of Amora, for some reason - put their hands on him in ways Thor doesn't like. He does remember Darcy once calling this 'dancing' - this is the first time, however, that he sees this brand of Midgardian dancing live.

"Yeah, well. He shouldn't do that," Natasha barks. "He's not exactly single. And while I'm not friends with Abigail Brand, I do believe in girl solidarity."

She storms off in the direction of the scene. Next to Coulson, a petite blond stops, leans on the table with refreshments and manages to knock over all the plastic cups.

"Have you been drinking, Miss Allen?" Coulson asks. The girl shakes her head no, then promptly gets green. Coulson rolls his eyes and grabs the girl's hand.

"Christ," Thor hears him muttering, "I hate high school."

***

"Do you think he'd dance with me?" Gwen asks, observing Golmen's wild dancing moves on the stage with Tandy and Sally.

"Why would you even ask that? _I'm_ dancing with you."

"But you won't, not in a minute."

Peter spins around to see what Gwen noticed and ah, MJ is there, waiting for the right time to approach. And wait, who's that with her? It's not… No, it can't be…

"Hi!"

"Aaargh!" Peter jumps, startled, when Nancy pokes him in the shoulder. "You've scared me."

"Sorry. Just wanted to say hello."

"And you did."

"I did." She sways on her heels. Then says flatly, like she can't be bothered, "Gwen, I love your dress, you look lovely."

"Thanks, you--don't look so bad yourself."

And she doesn't. Peter knows next to nothing about fashion, but even he can tell that the dress Nancy's wearing looks way too good to be something that's been taken from a mother's closet or bought in a second-hand shop. It looks expensive and fits her perfectly, like it was made specially for her. That does give some credit to Gwen's assessment of Nancy.

"Ladies… _Peter_."

Peter stops swaying like a penguin and steels himself before turning towards the source of this familiar voice. And of course, there he is, Harry Osborn, as handsome and rich and with as great hair as ever.

"Harry," Peter greets him with a weak smile. "It's been some time."

"Too long," Harry says and grins. "I've missed you, BFF."

And then he hugs Peter, like nothing ever happened, like he didn't go to some fancy school that Peter could never afford just because he was bored and had too much money, like he never stopped talking to Peter, like it's been mere days since they've last seen each other. To be completely honest, when he hugs him, it does feel like that. It feels like they've never had that fight and are still best friends and brothers.

"Okay. Are you sure this is the appropriate way to greet someone's boyfriend…?"

Harry lets Peter go and Peter immediately grabs Gwen's hand.

"Harry, this is Gwen," he introduces her. "And this," he looks sideways at Nancy, who stands there with an unsure expression, "is Nancy. Girls, this is Harry. Osborn. My--one of my--my friend."

"You never mentioned that you know Harry Osborn," Gwen accuses jokingly and Peter shrugs. Well. He didn't think that it mattered, at least not until a minute ago. "We've met once, Harry, remember? At your father's company banquet?"

"Yes, of course. Gwen. The brilliant Gwen," Harry bends to kiss Gwen's hand. "Nancy." He frowns. "Don't I know you?"

"I don't think so," Nancy replies too coldly. "I've just moved here."

"Because you look so damn familiar. Are you sure we've never met? Because you look a lot like that Bish--"

"No, definitely not," Nancy interrupts. "Like I said. I've just moved here."

Harry nods, though he remains unconvinced. He recovers quickly; a few seconds later he's the charming Harry Osborn again and he takes Gwen's hand.

"May I have this dance?" he asks neither Gwen nor Peter when an Ella Fitzgerald song starts.

"You may," Gwen answers and, above Harry's shoulder, she shoots Peter a meaningful glance. Yes. This is the moment. Peter takes a few steps back and conveniently bumps into Mary Jane.

"Shall we?" MJ asks quietly and takes Peter's hand.

"Where are you going?" Nancy inquires over their heads, loud enough for Peter to hear, but not loud enough for other students to notice; Peter has no time to come up with an answer for her.

MJ drags him through the whole auditorium to the door, into the corridor and then to the chemistry lab, which she opens using a key that's been clearly duplicated from the janitor's set. Soon a bulky guy in whom Peter recognizes one of Flash's best friends, Fred, comes in, carrying a huge container filled with black goo-y stuff.

"There, we're all set," MJ says. "Shall we start?"

***

It's funny to observe Natasha as she makes her way through the teenage girls, how she flashes some cheap ring to them - too quickly for them to notice anything odd about it, but long enough for them to understand its meaning - and how she grabs him all possessively, like he belongs to her. It's almost a shame that Barton couldn't be here to see his lovely girl's performance.

"Really, Natasha… What would dear Clint say?"

"Shut up," she answers, clearly annoyed not only with the angry fiancée act but with the slow-dancing now. "He'd say 'shut up'."

"I always admired his talent of tongue."

"And what would Brand think of it? Wouldn't she be jealous? Can she even _be_ jealous? I'm never sure, what with her being a self-powering snark machine."

"She'd be disappointed that I didn't have it taped and that she couldn't watch it live. Or better yet, participate."

"There you have it. She's not exactly normal, is she?"

Natasha lets Loki walk her down from the stage. He then takes her hand and they resume dancing, and he steers them towards the centre of the hall. He's better at it than she expected - he notices that when they manage to perform a particularly difficult move. He smirks. He's a prince, what did she expect? He did have the best teachers; then again, so did Thor and his biggest dancing achievement up to day is still crushing Mother's foot.

"Why isn't she here with you today?"

"Can't," Loki explains. "Off-planet meeting. A potential diplomatic incident. Fun."

"Uh-huh."

"But she'll be home soon. And then we have plans. Nice plans. A movie. Dinner. Ass-kicking, you know. Romantic and kinky. You might even know what I mean."

"Oh, I most certainly do know what you mean. Even if I'd rather didn't. Now tell me, Loki. Is that love?" She whispers into his ear. Loki grins. Oh, he likes her. He likes how smart and resourceful she is, how quick to understand, how efficient when she works. She's also a joy to have around off-hours, when she's still smart, but funny and playful and often plain silly.

She forgave him for Barton. Natasha knows - better than anyone, save perhaps Fury - that things often have to be sacrificed for the greater good so she doesn't hold resentment. She forgave him, which doesn't mean she ever forgot.

She'll never forget. Barton will never forgive. Loki can live with that. 

"Love is for children, Natasha. Or so I've heard."

They dance a bit longer, way into the next song. Loki is on the verge of asking if she'd like to have a go at samba with him when Natasha taps him on the shoulder and points behind him.

"Your target's on the move," she says.

"Pity," Loki says regretfully as the DJ starts playing his favourite Shakira song.

***

"This is the Venom?" Peter asks as he crouches next to the container and observes the black goo. "It looks really unhealthy."

"This is it, Peter. Can you work with it?"

"I guess. Put this on the table? Erm, please?"

Fred does. MJ comes to stand behind Peter and looks over his shoulder as he starts setting up the equipment. For once Peter's thankful that MJ is more of an arts girl and has no idea how to water down concentrates; he can fool around with the vials until he comes up with a brilliant plan of distracting the two of them long enough to run some tests on the goo.

"He's doing it wrong," Fred observes loudly.

"Of course he's not doing it wrong," MJ says, "he's _Peter Parker_."

That strokes Peter's ego in a very nice, pleasant way.

"He is," Fred insists and Peter starts to worry. Fred is a football player, he isn't supposed to figure it out. "I have B+ in chemistry, I _know_ how a dilution set looks like and this ain't it."

Damn it.

"Then why didn't you offer to do this if you're so good?" MJ asks. "Then we wouldn't have had to tell someone else about it!"

"I _told you_ not to bring anyone new in! I _told you_ that we'll take care of it on our own. Harry--"

"Shut up, Fred, just _shut up_ \--"

The Venom in the container bubbles angrily. It's a ridiculous thing to say even in Peter's mind, but there are no other words to describe it. The substance seems to react to MJ's and Fred's raised voices, and it bubbles and flares, and the container starts shaking. All of Peter's senses - not just the spider one - are telling him that standing in close proximity of the container is dangerous now.

"Uh, guys?" Peter says, trying to get their attention. It doesn't work. "Guys, I think it doesn't like you fighting and that it's threatening to explode any moment now…"

"--because you know you'd be nothing without my and Harry's help, and you can't stand it--"

"Duck. Guys, seriously, DUCK!"

The container explodes. Peter manages to grab the back of MJ's dress and pull her down to hide under one of the table. Fred isn't as lucky and gets a faceful of the goo. When it seems relatively safe - even though the spider sense keeps ringing - and the goo stopped dripping to the floor, Peter lets go of MJ's dress and they emerge from under the table.

"Told you it was unhappy with you. If a chemical substance can even _be_ unhappy."

"Fred?" MJ asks. Fred is covered in the goo from head to toe and isn't doing much to get rid of it. The goo still looks better than his hideous suit, though, so that might be a reason, Peter thinks. "Fred, are you--"

She touches Fred's arm. What turns its head back is all black, has sharp teeth and an enormous tongue and is most definitely not Fred.

"Oh," MJ says and Peter barely has time to push her out of the way before the Fred-monster tries to bite her head off.

"This should be in the 'undesired effects' section. No wonder they had troubles selling this drink," Peter blabs. He grips MJ's hand tightly and forces her to run with him. The Fred Venom-monster follows out straight through the wall, rendering the chem lab unusable. Then it jumps up, clings to the ceiling and drops onto the floor in front of the door Peter and MJ have been running towards, blocking their way out. "We'll turn left here, thanks!"

In the corridor on the left, they run into Liz Allen. A very drunk Liz Allen who giggles like an idiot.

"MJ, take Liz and go to the auditorium. Get everyone to leave the school." MJ nods, still too stunned - or so Peter hopes - to speak. "Activate fire alarms if necessary. Find Gwen and tell her to call the police, okay? MJ, okay?"

"Yes."

"Great." The Venom-monster runs into their corridor. "Go, go, NOW!"

Liz starts screaming. MJ - bless her - pushes her and makes her run straight ahead. They don't look back, not once. When the Venom Fred-monster charges, Peter jumps and clings to the wall, moves in the opposite direction of the girls as fast as he can.

"Fred, come ON! You don't want to actually kill a nerd!"

The Fred-monster apparently does, because it reaches its fingers and tries to grab Peter's leg. It almost does and Peter swears it screeches in delight, when a flash of green light scares it away, into the general direction of the auditorium. Shit.

And then Peter falls off the wall. He grunts as he lands on the floor; when he opens his eyes, he looks directly into a not amused face of Mr. Golmen. The teacher puts his hand down and green sparkles disappear from between his fingers.

"Well, this is awkward," Peter says and Golmen seems to agree.

***

Coulson is in the middle of relying his latest conversation with Nick Fury to him and Natasha when someone screams. It's not the first time someone has screamed that evening; the children were leaving the hall freely for some time now, going for walks and to 'find an appropriate make-out hideout', in the words of Natasha. This is the first time the scream spoke of pure terror, though, of a kind one might feel when they meet a monster for the very first time.

Coulson stop mid-sentence and looks at the entrance door, just like Thor and Natasha are doing. The music was turned down and the children stopped dancing in favor of glancing uncertainly at each other. Then the same person screams again and the entrance door bursts open. The screaming blond girl - who has been escorted out by Coulson earlier in the evening - comes running inside, halts, takes a deep breath and yells,

"THERE'S A FUCKING MONSTER IN THE HALLWAY!"

Someone not far away on Thor's right snickers. Then a giant black monster appears in the far end of the corridor behind the blond girl and that same person screeches. There's a moment of incomprehension before panic erupts in the hall and all the children try to get to the door marked green as fast as possible.

"They're going to trample each other!" Natasha yells over the bustle. "We need to secure the area!"

"I'll get the kids out safely, you deal with the monster of the week," Coulson yells back. Natasha nods and Thor agrees too. They need to stop this monster before it kills anyone - that's what they _do_ , after all, and it doesn't matter that Thor doesn't have Mjolnir with him and Natasha doesn't have her guns. They could use some magic, though.

Thor stops mid-step.

"Where's Loki?"

"Not in here," Natasha replies. "He left the hall and went after our prime suspect, he--DAMNIT." Natasha spits out a string of curses in Russian. "We need backup. We need Stark and I can't believe I'm even saying that. Where the hell is he when he's actually needed?"

"Keep the slimey one out of the auditorium, Nat!"

Natasha curses again and flips one of the plastic tables over, spilling drinks and sending the cookies flying. She reaches for the closest leg with the clear intention of breaking it free. Thor rushes to assist her and together, within a few moments, they get stocked with several quickly made weapons. Thor looks at them with disdain and silently longs for his hammer or even for the comfort of Sif's usual knives. Natasha just shrugs as if telling him that this is what they have to work with and this will have to do.

She doesn't look happy with it either, however.

"You heard Coulson, Thor," she says bravely as she swings the plastic stakes, checks out how they fit her hand, and runs towards the door past the shouting and running youngsters, "we gotta keep this thing as far away from the auditorium as possible. If we're lucky, we'll run into your brother and he'll be gracious enough to help us out."

Thor's nostrils flare.

"Loki's there," he states more than asks as he falls in step with Natasha, his posture and air of authority around him making the children - even mad with terror - part before them. This is good news, and not only because it means Loki might agree to help them fight the monster. Thor is an older brother and there are some instincts that are so hard-wired into his subconscious that he can't turn them off, even if sometimes he'd like to. Knowing where Loki is, knowing that he is not in any danger, is one of those instincts; he needs to know that Loki is safe, even if Loki is more than capable of taking care of himself.

Thor thinks that their mother would be proud of him so worrying over his baby brother's safety.

The monster is smaller than Thor expected or is used to. On Midgard everything is smaller and it keeps surprising him, after all this time. But this monster - like every other Thor has ever fought - is vicious and enraged and aims to kill anyone who stands in their way,

"Watch out for the teeth!" Natasha yells. She gracefully spins past the monster and attacks it from the back, stabs it once and twice with her stake. "Freaking Dick Roman."

"Is Dick Roman a common monster on Midgard?" Thor doesn't like the stake. It's small, it's too light, it doesn't rest right in his palm. Instead, he falls back on what Barton once called 'a proud tradition of punching it in the face until it agrees'.

"It's not common, it's fictional." Natasha dodges the monster's attack and drives a stake into its side. It only seems to anger it more. "You really need to start watching more TV. How. Do you. Stop. This THING."

"I don't think it can be stopped."

Thor's eyes immediately dart around to locate the owner of this voice and the monster uses those few precious seconds to rip Thor's shirt and jacket and cut skin. Thor grunts and drives one of his own stakes through the monster's hand. The beast screeches and prepares to attack again and promptly freezes in a cloud of green. Loki drops his hand with a self-satisfied smirk. Thor breathes out in relief.

"For Earth's mightiest heroes you're doing a poor job," Loki sneers.

"Hey, you're Avengers!" a young boy accompanying Loki exclaims. He flails his hands wildly and he seems to be covering his panic with excitement. "Man, I've been swinging past your Tower for months now. I keep hoping to meet you. This is so awesome. It is so awesome, right? Man, I've been like stalking you and I tried to look through the windows in the Tower, but you can't really see anything, and--"

The spell fails and the monster jumps at Thor again. Far on the right, Loki hisses and casts another spell, this time sending the monster flying. The beast crashes into a wall with a loud, hollow thud and Loki uses the opportunity to address Thor.

"You can't stop it," he says quickly, "but you can kill it. Enchanted--," a twitch of a mouth, as if he was trying not to smile, "-- table leg, through the neck."

"Wait, you can't _kill_ him--"

"You have to," Loki interrupts the youngster when the monster charges again. Loki quickly casts the spell over Thor's weapon and shoves the Midgardian child at Natasha. "Go. Take the kid, meet us back at the Tower."

"But--"

"Go." Natasha grabs the child's arm and physically drags him away. He's still screaming his protests as she heads back to the auditorium and to the emergency exit that Coulson opened up. Loki looks to Thor. "Ready?"

"Yes. Together?"

Loki smiles.

"Always, oh brother mine."

The monster jumps at them and falls with a stake protruding from its neck. Now, motionless, it seems almost harmless. The black starts dripping from its body, drains away until what's left is just pale flesh of a Midgardian child, not unlike the one whom Loki has just sent away. The black substance pools on the floor, contained by Loki's spell; Loki takes out a small flask from his pocket, bends down and gathers some of the it.

"Interesting," he comments, on the black substance as well as on the body of a human child. He corks the flask and puts it back into his pocket.

"Loki…"

"What?" Loki shrugs. "It was a monster, Thor. It had to be killed, otherwise it would have just killed everyone else. After all, isn't this what you usually do with monsters? Kill them?"

Thor swallows thickly, but doesn't say anything. After all - and at the heart of it - Loki is right, no matter how much Thor loathes to admit it.

***

"This is Christmas. Even better. It's all Christmases ever rolled into one day."

"You might have already mentioned it, Stark."

Tony grins like a loon and goes back to his microscope. So the evening wasn't a success. Natasha came back about two hours ago, sweaty and tired, and a bit bloody and pissed off, dragging a kid behind her that was shitting his pants from equal parts fear and excitement. But when she pushed him onto Tony's giant couch and had Steve to hand him a cup of tea, the excitement won out.

"You guys are _Avengers_."

"That's what we called ourselves," Tony said from in front of his enormous TV where they've been outletting Bruce's anger through GTA. "My idea."

That was over two hours ago. Some time later, their two Norse princesses came back too, covered in even more blood - in Thor's case - and looking like they just got off a freaking catwalk - in Loki's. Loki nodded at Tony and, surprise surprise, Bruce, waved at the kid and motioned them to move to the Science Bros lab. Thor, on the other hand, seemed like a person who've just killed a kitten and needed a drink to forget about it. Or a whole bottle, judging from the unhappy face he was making.

Caught between tending to a sad Thor and doing science shit with his science bro (and Loki, but Tony was the type of person to focus on the positive side), Tony chose science. For, you know, _science_.

"Shush, will you. Let me enjoy the moment. I've never seen anything as cool as that."

Loki rolls his eyes but he does shut up, so Tony counts it as a victory. Next to Tony, Bruce pokes the black goo and the black goo pokes back, hissing furiously. Tony thinks this is officially the best day since he and Bruce used Steve to test their experimental hypervodka.

"Is there anything you can tell us about this?"

"It's a black goo that's not from around here," Bruce states flatly and Tony is not sure if he's for real or if he's just trolling Loki. Bruce winks at him discreetly and Tony beams with pride. Dear, dear Bruce, you've come such a long way from a guy who was hiding in India to a guy who was making fun of a Norse demi-god. "We also know that it attached itself to a human and only left it when the human was dead. So my guess is that it's parasitic."

"His name was Fred," the kid supplies. He doesn't sound so sad anymore. When Loki first mentioned how he'd got the sample, the kid was angry. Now, it seems, he's been placated with the magic of pure science.

"Sadly, we can't say anything about its reactions with the human body as we don't have a pre-joining sample of this goo and therefore lack all the data we need."

Loki smacks his lips impatiently. Tony shrugs. Hey, it's not magic or whatever it is that Loki can do. This is science, and with science, you can't create data out of thin air.

"Actually," the kids says hesitantly, "we do have another sample."

Tony's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as the kid produces a tiny vial from his trousers pocket. He hands it to Tony, who takes the vial delicately, like a treasure. Bruce immediately hands him another Petri dish and Tony pours the goo on it. All four heads come closer to look at the goo which does exactly nothing. Not a hiss. Not even an angry bubble.

"Well then." Bruce pushes the Petri dish under the state-of-art microscope that he and Tony once built when the Avengers had a free afternoon. "Let's see what we have here."

He bends down to look through the lenses. Tony sees him frown; he straightens up and shakes his head, bends again and when he reemerges, his jaw is almost hanging wide open.

"Tony, take a look at this."

Tony does. The goo - or whatever it is - looks completely different than on the other sample. This one's structure is smoother, less defined, less complicated. It's almost as if it…

"… evolved," Tony mutters to himself. He snaps his fingers at the kid. "You, hey. What's your name?"

"Peter. Parker."

"What do you know about this?"

Peter sighs and rubs the back of his neck before replying.

"It's a substance that's used as a base in the production of a kick-ass energy drink. Some… _people_ at school have the access to the prototype drink as well as to this and they wanted to distillate some on their own. They need the drink, it's been quite helpful to them at the school for a while."

"And you didn't notice anything weird about it?"

"Other than it enveloping a quarterback's body in the goo and turning him into a giant black monster? No, I don't think so. The drink really gives you a kick." Peter taps his chin in thought. "Then again, MJ seemed too unfazed by the monster for it to be her natural reaction…"

"Did you figure something out?" Loki asks, thus shutting the kid up. Peter continues to mutter under his breath, though, and Tony wants to give him thumbs up. Everyone who annoys Loki just a bit is a Good Guy in Tony's book.

Meanwhile, Bruce gives Tony a quick look, that's meant to convey all of his giddiness at this science night but also his irritation with his fellow scientists constantly being thrown off track.

"We think so," Tony says. "You see, the black goo is… sort of… sentient."

"WHAT."

"Or, sort of alive. It's mutating. It's constantly mutating when something new is introduced to its environment."

"And I _drank it_."

"It's also very, mhm, resilient," Bruce supplies. "As we've said, it's parasitic and it clings to a host. But it works both ways, and we believe it's highly addictive to humans."

"Why did no one notice that their energy drink was _alive_?" Peter shivers and looks a bit green, but he also keeps eyeing the Petri dish with fascination that borders on obsessive. Tony can relate; the kid would make a great scientist one day.

"I'll have to run more tests but my bet is that it emits some brain-numbing chemicals."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Hell yeah." Tony rubs his face tiredly. "See, Loki, the black goo monster incident happened because the goo was spilled on the kid. That's why he went all monstrous so fast. But the goo collects in the system. It mutates in one's body. And it's turning you into a monster from the inside."

"I'm gonna be sick," Peter announces loudly. Bruce pushes a waste bin towards the kid.

"So you can't do anything to neutralize it?" Loki asks. Tony grins triumphantly.

"Didn't say that, did I?"

***

It's Natasha who notices the kid slipping out of the Tower's lounge and heading towards the rooftop emergency exit. Loki shakes his head no, Natasha frowns, Loki shakes his head _again_ , Natasha bares her teeth and they end up playing rock-paper-scissors to establish whose honor it will be to follow the kid. Loki loses, of course, because the universe never liked him.

"Most Midgardians fear heights."

Peter looks up at him from his sitting position almost at the edge of the rooftop. He doesn't look bothered by how far from the ground they are; Loki isn't either so he sits down next to him, swings his legs over the edge and lets them dangle, 1138 feet above Manhattan.

"So did they, uh, learn anything new?"

"They apparently found an antidote that will remove the lingering traces of the substance from the body. They've also learnt that the overuse of the substance is lethal and that it doesn't want to be separated from its host." Peter raises a brow. "Apparently, Stark keeps emergency mice in his lab."

"So there was no way to save Fred? Not even with the antidote?"

"No."

"It doesn't make killing him better," Peter says slowly, "but I guess it makes it less absolutely and horribly bad."

"If you choose to see it that way."

Peter runs a hand through his wild brown hair and turns sheepish. Loki finds it amusing and refreshing; it's been way too long since any of the mortals who keep his company looked at him with this level of wonder and astonishment.

"You're not with the Avengers, aren't you?"

"Not exactly."

"You're that horned guy who tried to destroy Manhattan a couple of months ago."

"I don't understand why you humans keep bringing that up," Loki mutters. To Peter, out loud, he says, "yes. But that was a training exercise for the Avengers. If they were half the group they were advertised to be, nothing bad would have happened."

"Gunnar Golmen is not your real name, is it?"

"No. I'm Loki, of Asgard," Loki says and waits patiently for the ever-coming question of 'Thor's brother Loki?'.

"So…" Peter starts and Loki barely manages not to roll his eyes. Why, why is that the humans always feel the need to bring Thor into the conversation, always try to describe him through Thor. Even Carol sometimes makes that mistake and she knows him long enough and well enough to understand what an annoyance it is. "Thor is your brother." 

Well.

"That's cool," Peter decides after a beat. "You're kind of cool, you know. Super creepy when you grin, but you're the best physics teacher I've ever had and that's saying something considering that you're not even a human."

"This assignment gave me a unique opportunity to familiarize myself with the general concept of Midgardian physics. I only had a night to prepare so I wasn't able to delve into much detail yet; that's why I chose the area of astro- and quantum physics to cover in class. After all, I have the benefit of knowing some of the best specialists in this field."

"You've learnt quantum physics in one night? Bullshit."

"Too slow?"

Peter laughs shakily and shakes his head in disbelief.

"Yeah. _Super_ slow. So slow it makes Slowpoke look like a sprinter."

"I'm not entirely sure what a 'slowpoke' is."

"Figures." Peter rubs his eyes with the back of his hand. "You know what? Hot-dogs. I would _kill_ for a hot-dog now."

Loki smirks and wriggles his fingers for show, casts a handy spell and delights in Peter's shocked face when a plate of hot-dogs appears in his lap. Ah, magic. He'll never get used to the fact that Midgardians are constantly baffled and frightened and amused by it.

"Is this a real hot-dog?" Peter eyes it suspiciously and pokes it. "It's not going to star oozing the black goo? It's not going to bite my hand off?"

"No. Though I am unsure what it's made of."

"That's actually good when it comes to hot-dogs, you just never know with them." Peter takes one and prepares to bite off a bit when he halts. "You didn't spit on it or anything like that? From what I remember from English class back in primary school, the mythological Loki was known for his douchebag tricks."

"I _am_ known for my douchebag tricks," Loki says gleefully, "but even I wouldn't be that cruel."

"That's good enough for me." Peter does take a bite and his face melts into a state of utter and unbound pleasure. "Amazing. Seriously, where did you get it? You didn't transmutate it from something else, did you? I read _Harry Potter_ , I know magic doesn't work like that."

Loki politely doesn't point out that _Harry Potter_ 's magic isn't how magic works at all.

"Stole it. From in front of Stark's face."

"I'm eating Tony Starks hot-dogs on Tony Stark's rooftop and I'm talking to my physics teacher-turned-Asgardian god. This is officially the best high school dance ever." He quickly sombers up. "I should call Gwen, tell her that I'm not dead or anything…"

"I'm sure Coulson's already done it."

"Headmaster Coulson is with you guys as well?"

"He's an agent of SHIELD."

"Are _you_ an agent of SHIELD?" Peter asks, his hot-dog completely forgotten. Ketchup drips from it onto his trousers but he doesn't even notice.

"No. I'm with SWORD." Peter raises his brows expectantly. "Which is a more high-tech, more sophisticated, more open-minded and more _everything_ version of SHIELD."

"Awesome. Where do I sign up?" Loki grimaces at that and Peter quickly backpedals. "What? No kiddies?"

"Kiddies are fine," Loki answers. "Vicky is one of us. Or, as you know her, Nancy--"

"I _knew_ it!"

"--but it's not a place for you."

"Why not? You guys sound awesome. I'm totally awesome. We'd make an awesome team."

"Because SWORD attracts a specific sort of people and you would not like to be one of them."

"Not quite following. I got lost around 'awesome team'."

"People who come into SWORD's employment are damaged. They're… broken. They've seen one thing too many and they have nothing to lose anymore. They are not afraid to do what's necessary, even if it's less than moral. The Chitauri, for example. That extreme training exercise. SHIELD wouldn't have done it so we did. It wasn't a good thing, or a decent one. But it needed to be done."

Peter puts the hot-dog down.

"Yeah, I'm not really that kind of person."

"No. That's not necessarily a bad thing, for you. Maybe, a few years in the future, the Avengers will ask you to join their team."

"You think they would?"

"They asked _me_. Yes, Stark was heavily influenced by beverage that night, but he did ask me to join the Avengers. I believe he said something about them not having enough crazy people with 'magicky weirdo mojo' on staff to balance out the science."

"Magicky weirdo mojo," Peter repeats and grins. "I kind of like the sound of it."

***

"You lied to him," Rogers accuses when they come back from the rooftop, when the kid bounces happily back to Stark's lab and Loki pours himself a generous drink. He does it softly, without any actual venom in his words, because while he knows that Loki lied to the boy, he also understands what telling the truth would mean.

"Have you even met me?" Loki deadpans, because he's too tired for morality debates now. "Check under 'Loki' on Wikipedia, you'll notice that lying is in my job description."

***

"Unknown substance #149, partially based on a modified super soldier serum, also known as Venom. A highly mutative chemical that enhances the performance of a human body in a watered down version, but in a skin-to-skin contact with a high concentration version, it acts parasitically. The closest we came to explaining it in a 'too long, didn't read' dumb version is that the Venom - in a high concentration form - acts semi-sentient and that it's looking for a host. Potentially might be trying to take over the planet but that's more of a my private assumption than an official scientific fact."

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." Fury looks over at Loki, who's sprawled gracelessly in an uncomfortable chair opposite the SHIELD side of the debrief table and is currently staring mindlessly at the screen of his iPad. "Are we boring you?"

Maria almost laughs when Loki answers without lifting his head up.

"No, absolutely not. No need to stop on my account, Commander, I am perfectly capable of multitasking."

"Yes, hey, we'll just carry on then, no need to start arguing." Banner changes the slides. "We've managed to find an antidote that neutralized the Venom still present in the systems of the students in Midtown High. As per Agent Coulson's orders - and with that Parker kid's help - the antidote was added to the general water supply of the school and also to the cafeteria food--"

"Where _is_ Coulson, by the way?" Loki interrupts. Banner makes an unhappy face, but allows Maria to answer.

"Couldn't make it, he's introducing his replacement to the inner workings of his school." Maria smiles apologetically at Banner. "I'm sorry, Doctor Banner, do continue."

"Yes, thanks, what was I---The antidote won't work the next time we come across Venom, though. Our studies have shown that the substance quickly develops immunity to it. We're not quite sure how it can do it--"

"It's an Inhuman mutagen, that's how," Vicky Hand supplies. She plucks the iPad from Loki's hands and pushes it towards the SHIELD side of the table. "We can't be sure without running a few tests of our own, but we think Venom might be based on a non-diluted Amphogen Water. Several containers of it were recently stolen from Attilan."

"Non-diluted what?"

"It's alien," Loki explains shortly. "Which means it's in our jurisdiction. It's our job to deal with it and we have to because selling and processing Inhuman mutagens is forbidden under the Attilan-Earth treaty."

"I'll ask again," Fury say very slowly, "the _what_?"

"You really don't have to worry about it."

"I really do, in fact, _Loki_. This is based on the super soldier formula which ain't alien so it's SHIELD's problem. I also have to worry about it because it's been distributed by Harry Osborn's girlfriend who got it from Harry Osborn, who in turn supposedly got it from his father's company. None of those are alien, so it is SHIELD's problem as well."

"And where did Oscorp get it, mhm?" To that, Fury doesn't have an answer. "Bottom line is, the Venom is partially alien in origin. You deal with your scientists and your evil companies, we'll deal with an angered Inhuman court. This whole case might cause a diplomatic incident."

"I wasn't aware that Earth _had_ any diplomatic relations with, uh, Attilan," Maria observes. There's a vein pulsing wildly on Fury's temple and Banner is starting to tap his fingers nervously. If there was ever a clear sign needed that this meeting should be long over, that's it.

"While I do respect you and your organization, I am sure you're not aware of great many things." Loki takes back his iPad. "Are we done?"

"For now," Fury grits out. Maria sighs. Those two will never agree on anything. It's a pity that Coulson couldn't be at the meeting, he usually serves as a brilliant buffer between them. The clever man knew when not to come to avoid a bloodshed. So it's Maria's job to keep the violence level to minimum.

"Yes, we are. Thank you for coming, Loki, Hand. Mr. Stark, Doctor Banner, you're free to go too."

"Why am I never called 'doctor'?" Stark pouts as he packs his gadgets and results. "I have seven doctorates, you know?"

"All of which are _honoris causa_ , Stark, and have nothing to do with actual academic degrees. See, unlike Thor, I can google." Stark grins and winks at Loki, as if they just shared a joke. And maybe they did, because Loki smiles back; Maria is not privy to the inner workings of their relationship and she doesn't understand them. Natasha sometimes talks fondly of the two's banter while Clint reports amusing word fights.

For Maria, it seems that Stark and Loki are getting along just fine.

"Ah, before you go… A favor, Stark?" Stark stops and Maria can see the inner battle he's having. It's his ego and curiosity fighting against his wounded pride at being denied the 'doctor' title. In the end, the curiosity wins, because Stark turns around. "Remind Thor of that double date we're having next week."

"Right, remind Thor, classy. He's still not talking to you?"

"No, not yet." Loki carelessly wraps a scarf around his neck, grabs his things and heads towards the conference room's door. "But he will. I'm his little brother and he's incapable of staying angry with me."

He passes Stark and Banner, bids his goodbye to Fury and Maria, takes Vicky Hand's arm and the two of them vanish into thin air.

***

"Mr. Osborn, what a splendid accomplishment."

"Was it?"

"I do believe so. Your men performed most admirably."

"The Venom didn't work as well as it was supposed to. It didn't mutate as quickly. And the Avengers--"

"They were but an inconvenience. They are not of import. What is crucial is that now, thanks to our scheme, we have the access to a prince of Asgard. We have the access to Asgard itself. And with that…"

The woman trails off. Norman Osborn smiles dangerously.

"The ultimate power will be ours."


End file.
